Thoughts for Aseres Yemei Teshuvah

My collection of thoughts on teshuvah, Rosh haShanah and Yom Kippur from this blog and my other writings is now updated to include this year's writings. You can get it here.

A Fallen Soldier's Prayer for Peace

Modified: Transcription of text in Hebrew added. - 30-Sep-2006.

(Hat tip to the One Family Fund. May they be put out of business soon!)

Benaya Rein Hy"d fell toward the end of the war on Saturday night (yahrtzeit: 19 Av). He and four others were part of a unit that went in battle to rescue wounded soldiers and soldiers in distress. 24 hours a day, often without sleep or pause, he went into battles, braving heavy fire.

Sunday, the very day after he was killed, his sister went into labor and had a son. Shiv'ah ended, the family went to the cemetery, and from there to the beris of the new grandson, a new Benaya. An emotional roller-coaster. Finally, it was time to go through Benaya's belongings, and among the things he often took into war they found the following tefillah:

יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְפָנֶיךָ ה' אֱ-לוֹקֵנוּ וְאֱ-לוֹקֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ,
שֶׁתְּבָתֵּל מִלְחָמוֹת וּשְׁפִיכוּת דָמִים מִן הָעוֹלָם,
וְתַּמְשִׁיךְ שָׁלוֹם גָדוֹל וְנִפְלָא בָּעוֹלָם,
וְ"לֹֽא־יִשָּׂא גוֹי אֶל־גּוֹי חֶרֶב וְלֹֽא־יִלְמְדוּ עוֹד מִלְחָמָֽה,"
רַק יַכִּירוּ וְיֵדְעוּ כָּל יוֹשְׁבֵי תֵּבֵל הָאֶמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ
אֲשֶׁר לֹא בָּאנוּ לְזֶה הָעוֹלָם
בִּשְׁבִיל רִיב וּמַחְלֹקֶת חַס ושָׁלוֹם,
וְלֹא בִּשְׁבִיל שִׂנְאָה וְקִנְאָה
וְקַטֵגוֹר וּשְׁפִיכוּת דָמִים חַס ושָׁלוֹם,
רַק בָּאנוּ לָעוֹלָם כְּדֵי לְהַכִּיר
וְלָדַעַת אוֹתְךָ יִתְבָּרַךְ

Translation:

May if be the Will before You, Hashem our G-d and the G-d of our fathers,
That You anull war and bloodshed from the world,
And spread out great and awe-inspiring peace in the world ,
And "No longer will one nation life against another a sword, and they will not again learn war",
Just they will "recognize and know, all who live on the earth" "the truth for truthfulness"
That we didn't come to this world
for fighting and dispute chas veshalom,
and not for hatred and jealousy
and accusations and bloodshed chas veshalom,
we only came to this world in order to recognize
and know You, may You be blessed.

I put in quotes those phrases that I recognized were quotes. I also refrained from translating the idiom "chas veshalom", as I can only think of the longer "[may Hashem grant] pity and peace", which would distract from the flow of ideas more than an idiom does.

I would love to see shuls say this Yehi Ratzon this Yom Kippur, perhaps immediately after the Yizkor said for those who fell defending Israel or as victims of terror. Or to be included with your shul's prayers for the State of Israel and its soldiers, if they say any. Please send a copy to your rav with this suggestion.

Coronating G-d, part II -- Pragmatics

I was recently discussing the ideas in my essay "Coronating G-d". In it I utilized the Vilna Gaon's distinction between a melekh (king) and a mosheil. A melekh rules with the support of his people, a mosheil rules by strength. I suggested that the reason why accepting Hashem as Melekh is such a central part of Rosh haShanah is that a Melekh has more room for mercy. By accepting Him as king ourselves, we enter the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah without the need for Hashem to impose His Will despite us.

The person I was talking to asked what should have been an obvious question. "Okay, so how do we go about doing that?" And I surprised myself by realizing I didn't know. How can I have ever said Shema, a tefillah described as qabbalas ol malkhus Shamayim (accepting the yoke of [the One in] heaven), and not know what it is I'm supposed to be doing?

So, I put some thought to the subject.

Looking at Shema, we start by joining the community of Jewish (Shema Yisrael), and then proclaiming that despite our disparate perceptions of Him, Hashem is one and unique. This is an awareness of G-d's uniqueness and power. True of a melekh or a mosheil, although here we're actively acknowledging it. We accept the fact of Hashem's rule.

And then, before the list of pragmatic mitzvos for keeping this message an active part of our day, we are told to "Love Hashem with all your heart (kol levavekha), all your soul, and all your resources." Willingly bowing to that rule. This is the step of which we're speaking, the shift from realizing Hashem is Mosheil to accepting Him as our Melekh.

Chazal comment (and quoted by Rashi) perhaps on the word "kol", perhaps on the use of the two-veis word for heart "levavekha" rather than "libekha", that this is with both of our inclinations -- our good inclination and our evil one.

... veyishtachavu lefanekha kol haberu'im,
veyei'asu kulam agudah achas la'asos Retzonekh beleivav shaleim,
kemo sheyadanu, H' E-lokeinu, shehashalton/shehashilton lefanekha...

... and all those who were created will bow before you, and they will all be made into a single union to do Your Will with a whole heart. For as we know, Hashem our G-d, that the rule/scepter is before You...

- Amidah for Yamim Nora'im

Bowing before Hashem because we acknowledge His rule is obvious. However, note again that this global union of worship is "with the whole heart", a two-veis heart. Both inclinations. This to is because we know that He rules. But how does that cause us to engage our baser inclinations?

On Shabbos we say, "Yismekhu beMalkhusekha shomerei Shabbos veqor'ei oneg... -- They shall rejoice in Your Kingship, those who keep Shabbos and call it pleasure.." It's not enough to keep Shabbos. To be happily a subject of Hashem as King, we must find it an oneg, a pleasure.

It would seem that qabbalas ol malkhus Shamayim involves accepting the idea that following His plan is what is best for you life. Not just fulfilling the mitzvos, but seeking to do so beleivav shaleim and with qeri'as oneg.

How does one do it? I must start with the first mitzvah that I don't do and think I can. And with the first mitzvah I do begrudgingly and search the sources and the experiences it brings me to find its beauty. Then the second...

That is working toward the day when our teshuvah is rewarded, and "vehayah Hashem leMelekh al kol ha'aretz -- Hashem will be Melekh over the whole world." Bimheirah beyameinu, amein!

Tir'eh beTov

The Bostoner Rebbe (of Boston) commented once on the expression "Shanah tovah umsuqah - a good and sweet new year", which is related to the famous custom of having apple and honey on Rosh haShanah.

What does "umsukah -- and sweet" add, beyond the notion of "tovah -- good"?

As Rabbi Aqiva often said, "All that the All Merciful does, He does for the good". An echo of the words of one of his rabbeim, Nachum ish Gamzu, who would greet events that would disappoint or depress most of us with "Gam zu letovah -- this too is for the best."

So actually, wishing one another a good year could be thought of as being redundant. Everything is good, how could this year be any different? However, not everything I was told was "for my own good" was particularly pleasant.

Therefore, the rebbe teaches, we wish that the year not only be tovah, good, but also be mesuqah, sweet to our perception as well.

Along the same lines, I had a thought about a phrase in Shabbos and Yom Tov davening:

Our L-rd, and the L-rd of our fathers, sanctify us bemitzvosekha (through Your mitzvos), and put our portion beSorasekha (in Your Torah), satisfy us mituvekha (from Your Goodness), and make us (or: our souls qua living force) biyshuasekha (in Your salvation)...

The predicate prefix has an oddity: it says bemitzvosekha, beSorasekha, and later, beyshu'asekha. But by goodness, the prefix is "mituvekha" -- "from", not "be-" ("in" or "through") like by the others.

The reason, I believe, is because we are asking for something inherently different. We can ask G-d to make us more holy by allowing us to do more mitzvos, or give us the opportunity to learn more Torah, or make us happier by saving us more often. This is "be-", we are asking for more of a gift by asking for more of the vehicle He uses to give it to us.

Since everything G-d does is good, we can't be asking for G-d to give us more good, and thereby make us more satisfied. There is no more good for us to get. Rather, we are asking for more satisfaction with the goodness He already provides. This is why the "mi-" prefix is used.

This is also in contrast to Rebbe's words (Berakhos 50a) about benching, that a wise person says "uvtuvo chayinu -- and through His good we live", and a boor, "umituvo chayinu -- and from His good, we live". Rebbe says that "umituvo" is incorrect because it says that we live through some of His Good, implying that Hashem gives meagerly. Perhaps it's different here, when we ask for happiness, because the truth is that if we had a full realization of even a small part of His Good would be enough to satisfy. Like the piyut we sing at the seider. We list fifteen things Hashem did for us when taking us out of Egypt. But had He done any one of those 15 alone, "Dayeinu"!

R Shelomo Wolbe zt"l would part someone's company wishing him "tir'eh betov -- may you see the good!" This is both a berakhah and a mussar shmuess. A blessing that Hashem allow him to see all that's good in his life, and advice to the person to take the initiative and look for it. To aspire to the middah of Nachum ish Gamzu and Rabbi Aqiva of realizing the Hand of G-d in everything, and looking to see how even the tragedies in our lives are necessary steps to something bigger which He has in store for us. It's a beautiful greeting, one worth adopting. Wishing others could taste the sweetness.

And with that, may we all have a Shanah tovah umsuqah!

(With thanks to RYGB for helping me find the gemara.)

Frum or Erlich

I highly recommend the essay "Frum or Erlich" by Dr. Yitzchok Levine. Teaser:

The American Orthodox Jewish community of today is drastically different from the community that existed in America 75 years ago. Orthodox Judaism circa 1930 was struggling to maintain its numbers due to mass defections from religious observance.
...
In these communities one increasingly hears such statements as, "He is so frum." "That family is very frum; they don't have or do this or that." On the other hand, far too often one hears strong criticism of frum people. The source of this criticism is not limited to non-observant Jews or to non-Jews. One also hears condemnation of the so-called frum from Jews who are committed to Torah and Mitzvos. "He is supposedly so frum, and yet he does such and such." Could it be that frumkeit is not the end all and be all of Yiddishkeit?
...
Years ago the highest compliment that one could give to a Jew was not that he or she is frum, but that he or she is ehrlich. The term frum is perhaps best translated as "religious." More often than not it focuses on the external aspects of observance. It describes a person whose outward appearance and public actions apparently demonstrate a commitment to religious observance. The categorization of someone as being ehrlich, literally "honest," implies that this person is not only committed to the externalities of religious observance, but also is concerned about how his or her religious observance impacts upon others. Frumkeit is often primarily concerned only with the mitzvos bein odom laShem (between man and G-d), whereas ehrlichkeit, while certainly concerned with bein odom laShem, also focuses on bein odom l'odom (those mitzvos that govern inter-personal relationships.)
...
Sadly, there are people who are frum who are not particularly ehrlich. Let me relate a personal experience that I had about a year ago. ...

A Model of Ehrlichkeit, Reb Yisroel Salanter, ZT"L
The question arises, "If being frum is not the same as being ehrlich, then what does it mean to be ehrlich?" Perhaps the best way to get insight into what ehrlich behavior entails is by studying the actions of those who excelled in such behavior. ...

Also of interest is his Daily RYS, a daily thought (often in the form of an anecdote) from Rav Yisrael Salanter. While touring his site, you may want to also see Prof. Yitzchok Levine's essay "Are You Partially Responsible for the Shevach Scandal?". I only agree with part of it, though. Here's the part most relevant to the topics discussed in this blog:

There is another aspect of this scandal that is disturbing. How could a person who appears to be a Frum Jew do such a thing? Such actions are totally inconsistent with being an observant Jew. Yet, it happened, and it has happened before. I doubt that any of us will be surprised if it happens again.

Such an action, aside from being completely against Halacha, is totally dishonest. An honest person would never do such a thing. Therefore, it is most important that we instill honesty in our youngsters. Unfortunately, I do not see this being consciously done as part of the educational process that our children undergo.

I am convinced that every yeshiva should have an honor system. When people hear this, they often react with, "Good idea, but it will never work." When I point out that I teach at a secular college that has had an honor system since 1908, they reply, "Well, it may work at your school, but is will not work in yeshivas." I can only wonder why not. Is it because the culture of "dishonesty" when it comes to academics is so pervasive amongst our yeshiva students? If so, then we are in real trouble, because being dishonest in one area often spills over to being dishonest in other areas.

The slogan of the Stevens Institute of Technology Honor System is, "The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out." Of course, we know that there will come a time when whatever we do will be found out.

Elul is here. Rosh Hashanah is not far away!

9/11 - 5 Years Later; or, How to Effect Permanent Change

I

Five years ago, in the months after 9/11, we were a different people. Remember how we said "Unsaneh Toqef"? Who could say "Who will live and who will die? ... Who in chaos? Who in fire? ..." and didn't have tears in their eyes? The notion that our lives literally were in the "Hands" of the Almighty was real and etched in the core of our beings.

Fear years ago, you stopped on the road to help a stranger stranded on the side, regardless of their ethnicity. We all proudly flew our flags in a show of unity. Even the dynamics and unity with our community of American observant Jews was markedly stronger. But now? The flag got dirty and faded into a grey, sky blue and pink, and was taken down, not replaced. And if the fellow on the shoulder of the road is identifiably Jewish, and I have time, or if it's not a stretch of highway frequented by many other Orthodox Jews who might have pity on him...

What happened? Why couldn't we hold onto that feeling?

There is a pasuq in Devarim which reads "The 'Eyes' of G-d are on [the Land of Israel] from reishis hashanah ad acharis shanah -- the beginning of the year until the end of a year." The Satmar Rav points out the asymmetry; first the use of "hashanah", "the year", but it closes with just "shanah", "a year".

The Yismach Moshe notes that unfortunately that is the way with most of us. Every year, when it begins, we are all excited and determined. "This is going to be THE year!" The year I finally have the patience my children deserve, the year I get to synagogue regularly, the year... But the year goes by, and by the end, it's just "a year", another span on the calendar.

In VaYoel Moshe, the Satmar Rav adds that this can be read in the words nusach Sfard concludes Qedushah, "hein ga'alti eschem acharis kereishis -- here I will redeem you in the end [of our history] as in the beginning [i.e. in Egypt]". Hashem will redeem a people for whom "the end is like the beginning". When we can end the year with the same determination to be better as we had when we began it, we will have merited the redemption.

And so, I find -- and I assume most people do -- that the list of things I resolve to do teshuvah for this year closely resembles the changes I promised myself I would make last year. And so I set out to answer the question of how can we make permanent change. (Ironically, I set out to answer this question last year and the year before, and the year before that...)

II

About a month ago I went on a trip to Northern Israel -- brought food and supplies to Tzefat's poor and to our soldiers at and heading to the front. We also stopped by Chaifa and the Rambam Hospital. There we met Yechiel ben Zoharah (who could still use tefillos for a complete recovery). Yechiel left his bunker, unaware that they were actually situated north of Hezbollah trenches. He was shot from behind, with shrapnel destroying much of his liver, part of his right lung (which the intial bullet went through as well), and his right shoulder. He was waiting for the other wounds to heal sufficiently for him to be up to reconstructive surgery on the shoulder. And yes, he is a righty.

What made him stick out in my mind was something he did when it wasn't war-time. There are people capable of a moment of bravery, being in the line of fire to save another. It is a different skill (not greater or lesser, just different) to be able to live "heroically" for long stretches of time.

Yechiel lived alone, working the land and building at a spot near the Kineret for a year. I unfortunately forgot the name of the town in the Golan, at nearly 50 families, that he build around his efforts. (And of course, he had to brag about his daughter, who since turned 1.)

What we try to do most Rashei haShanah is closer to the moment of heroism. We think of teshuvah in terms of being at a new place by the end of Yom Kippur.

Rav AY Kook describes two ways of doing teshuvah (Orot haTeshuvah ch 2). The first is sudden, "coming from some kind of spiritual thunder that centers the soul. In one moment he recognizes the evil and disgustingness of sin, and turns into a new person…. This sort of teshuvah comes from some influence of inner gift, by some great spiritual influence, that it'’s worthy to seek its roots in the deepest of mysteries.... The higher teshuvah comes from the thunder of universal good, the Divine Good which underlies all the worlds...."

The second sort of teshuvah is gradual. "He feels that he must progress and improve his ways and his lifestyle, his desires, his thought patterns. In his travels on this path he conquers, bit by bit, the ways of righteousness, repairs his middos, improves his actions, teaches himself how to become more and more proper until he reaches the pinnacle of brightness and repair."

The first luchos, "G-d's manufacture they were, and the writing was G-d's writing" (Shemos 32:16). They were a "thunder from heaven", spirituality as a gift from the A-lmighty. As something unearned, there was no guarantee that they could be kept.

The Benei Yisrael sought to maintain this lofty experience; they had a need for further inspiration that could not await Moshe's return. They built the calf, and it all unraveled. That which was quickly gained was just as quickly lost.

For the second luchos, Moshe is told to "quarry for yourself two stone tablets like the first" (ibid 34:1). Man must take the first step. This is the gradual, incremental path. It's not a thunderous gift from Hashem, it is a call to which Hashem responds. He "will write on the luchos the ideas that were on the first luchos" (v. 2). But man must invest the effort.

Perhaps we can say that the first sort of teshuvah is embodied by the pasuq "Hashiveinu Hashem eilekha venashuvah – Hashem, bring us close to You, and we will return." (Eikhah 5:21) Hashem taking the first step. The second, harder but more permanent teshuvah is "Shuvah eilai ve'ashuvah aleikhem – return to Me, and I will return to you." (Malakhi 3:7) We take the initiative, and Hashem promises to respond.

The kind of rapid change we typically aspire for over Aseres Yemei Teshuvah is similar to that Rav Kook compares to the first luchos. It is rapid, because it is gifted from G-d. But it is much harder to keep permanent.

The events of 9/11 changed the environment in which we live. Among all the tragedy was a gift, an environment that called upon us to grow as people. But the growth didn't come from within ourselves; as the environment slowly returned to something more like (although never again the same) it was before, so did we lose much of that personal growth.

III

The Kotzker Rebbe once asked his students: There are two people on a ladder, one on the fourth rung, and another on the 10th, which one is higher?

The book where I saw this thought doesn't record his students' answers. I assume some recognized it as a trick question, and answered that it was the one on the fourth, some answered the 10th figuring the rebbe was leading them somewhere, and others were silent. But the rebbe's answer was succinct, "It depends who is climbing the ladder, and who is going down."

Once I told the story, the idea is familiar. The idea of spirituality is not where you are, as that is largely a function of forces beyond your control (your upbringing, your genetics, etc...) Rather, it's the direction you're heading in, and how rapidly you're getting there. To apply a notion from Kierkegaard, it's not about being a good Jew, it's about the process of becoming one.

What does this say about teshuvah? We think of teshuvah as getting from point A to point B. But if holiness is measured by our engagement in the process, should this be our goal of where to be by Yom Kippur? I would suggest that teshuvah is not akin to motion, but to acceleration. The aim is that by the end of Yom Kippur, we are more engaged in change; our foot is on the accelerator, we gathered tools to implement change and have started using them.

We must realize that "the work is long", that the entire year will be one in which we will need to slowly, incrementally, work toward our goals. I hope to use this time through the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah to make a plan for growth for the year, to change more by how I'm changing than to expect to stop the entire momentum of my life on a dime.

Through such efforts, we can hopefully look back on this year as "the year" even as it ends.

(PS: With the Satmar Rav and Rav Kook quoted within paragraphs of each other, this is probably my most eclectic blog posting yet!)

The Simplicity of the Shofar

(Hat tip to my daughter Shifra, who made this point the centerpiece of her speech at her bas mitzvah celebration.)

Halachically, a shofar must be a simple instrument. If it has a crack or anything that might shape the note, it is invalid. A cow's horn, which is layered and therefore not a shofar but a shefarferet, is not usable for the mitzvah. It has no keys, no valves, no strings to tune.

And yet from an aggadic perspective, the sound of the shofar is quite complex:

1. We associate the shofar with crying. We blow 100 sounds because Sisera's mother cried 100 times when learning her son (off to war against the Jews) was killed and would not return. There is a dispute whether the broken sound required by the Torah is more like yelulei yalal (uneven wailing) or genunei ganach (sobbing), so we blow both the teru'ah and the shevarim, as well as the two together as a pair.
   
   
2. The shofar is also a royal sound. "With trumpets and the sound of a shofar, call out before the King. The mishnah describes Hashem as saying, "Call before Me with the blast of the Shofar - to show that you accept of Me as your King." In the same way they blow trumpets to announce that the king or queen is entering the room, we blow Shofar on Rosh haShanah to announce a new year of Hashem's rule.
   
   
3. The shofar is used by the army, to alert the troops that it's time to break camp and go off to war. Similarly, in the desert, they also blew shofar to tell everyone it was time to move each time the Benei Yisrael broke camp. Rav Hirsch explains the shofar of Rosh haShanah similarly. It is a warning to get ready, to stop what we were doing all last year and do something new and better this one.
   
   
4. Then there are the historical reminicences associated with the shofar:
   
   • The horn of the ram that Avraham found when told not to sacrifice Yitzchaq at the aqeidah.
     
   • The sound of the shofar heard during the revelation at Mount Sinai.
These might be additional meanings, or they might derive from the previous ones.

We are required that shofar be something that looks simple at first, and yet what it says to us is complicated. A shofar expresses many different emotions at once. If you just look at it without spending real time, you miss the whole thing!

This in itself is an important lesson of the shofar, one critical to prioritizing our lives and to teshuvah: If we rush through life, everything looks trivial. It is only when we take the time to look deeper do we see the real beauty within.

(In addtion Shifra linked this notion to learning a similar lesson while volunteering every Shabbos to help a mother with two autistic sons. Autistic people seem like they are in their own worlds, not feeling much, not relating to the rest of us. Only if you take the time to see through the shell to the child trapped inside can you get to know them and the beauty of their souls.)

Something you can do to help the situation

בעון נבלות פה צרות רבות וגזירות קשות מתחדשות ובחורי שונאי ישראל מתים יתומים ואלמנות צועקין ואינן נענין שנא' (ישעיהו ט) על כן על בחוריו לא ישמח ה'

For the sin of vulgar speech many evils and harsh decrees are made anew, and the choicest of ... (euphamism ellided) Israel die, and orphans and widows cry and are not answered. As it says, "Therefore over His firstborn Hashem will not rejoice..." (Yeshaiah 9:16).

- Shabbos 33a

Nivul peh, crude speech, calling others derogatory names. Often done without thought or even realizing, but can cause irreperable harm to our unity as a people, and therefore to our protection from the A-lmighty.

(Hat tip to Yehoshua Kahn's daugher Ayelet.)